It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of...
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...
Marriage is the death of hope.
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....
I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.