It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...

I am two with nature.

I am two with nature.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Then who are we, the blind ones and the blind folded, that do not know...

Then who are we, the blind ones and the blind folded, that do not know...

Love is the ultimate expression of the will to live.

Love is the ultimate expression of the will to live.

For the past twenty years you and I have been fed all day long on...

For the past twenty years you and I have been fed all day long on...