It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into...

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into...

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

This New Years, I'm going to party like Maury just told me I'm not the...

This New Years, I'm going to party like Maury just told me I'm not the...

On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking,...

On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking,...

My father, now in heaven, is a keeper of the birds. And his eye is...

My father, now in heaven, is a keeper of the birds. And his eye is...