If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

Old age is no place for sissies.

Old age is no place for sissies.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all

Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all