If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

I am certain that, however great the hardships and the trials which loom ahead, our...

I am certain that, however great the hardships and the trials which loom ahead, our...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

The greatest crimes do not arise from a want of feeling for others but from...

The greatest crimes do not arise from a want of feeling for others but from...