If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move...

A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

I am two with nature.

I am two with nature.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...

And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

The rest of all the acts of Asa, and all his might, and all that...

The rest of all the acts of Asa, and all his might, and all that...

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.

Pretending to concentrate in class so that the teacher won't ask you questions.

Pretending to concentrate in class so that the teacher won't ask you questions.