Marriage is the death of hope.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there...
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...
80% of success is showing up.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...
And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...
The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.