Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Bad Day Quotes

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't...

I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't...

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

Love will ask you to step out of your comfort zone, to sacrifice and to...

Love will ask you to step out of your comfort zone, to sacrifice and to...