Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

I am two with nature.

I am two with nature.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

For age and want save while you may, No morning sun lasts a whole day.

For age and want save while you may, No morning sun lasts a whole day.

Greatness is the dream of youth realized in old age.

Greatness is the dream of youth realized in old age.

We're all citizens of the womb, before we subdivide into sexes and shades- this side,...

We're all citizens of the womb, before we subdivide into sexes and shades- this side,...