Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...
Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
The things which the child loves remain in the domain of the heart until old...
I would there were no age between ten and three-and-twenty, or that youth would sleep...
God is usually on the side of big squadrons and against little ones