Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

I am two with nature.

I am two with nature.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.