In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

If I had believed in a God of rewards and punishments, I might have lost...

If I had believed in a God of rewards and punishments, I might have lost...

Go, and say to Hezekiah, Thus saith the Lord, the God of David thy father,...

Go, and say to Hezekiah, Thus saith the Lord, the God of David thy father,...