The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Sex Quotes

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.