The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Sex Quotes

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said...

I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said...

The lovely thing about being 40 is that you can appreciate 25 year old men...

The lovely thing about being 40 is that you can appreciate 25 year old men...

Do not be afraid of showing your affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate....

Do not be afraid of showing your affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate....