The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Quote by Woody Allen
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...
And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...
Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Do not fear death... only the unlived life. You don't have to live forever; You...
Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die...