Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into...

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into...

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

Failures are like skinned knees; painful, but superficial.

Failures are like skinned knees; painful, but superficial.

Don't be discouraged by a failure. It can be a positive experience. Failure is, in...

Don't be discouraged by a failure. It can be a positive experience. Failure is, in...

The luck of having talent is not enough; one must also have a talent for...

The luck of having talent is not enough; one must also have a talent for...

Success doesn't come to youÃyou go to it.

Success doesn't come to youÃyou go to it.