Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

I am two with nature.

I am two with nature.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue...

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there...

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there...