I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Death Quotes, Funny Quotes

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

80% of success is showing up.

80% of success is showing up.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is the death of hope.

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.