Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Life Quotes

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

When a book leaves your hands, it belongs to God. He may use it to...

When a book leaves your hands, it belongs to God. He may use it to...

Your worst day with God will be better than your best day without Him.

Your worst day with God will be better than your best day without Him.