I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Cheating Quotes, Soul Quotes

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue...

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat oneself

The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat oneself

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

If there is anything in the universe that can't stand discussion, let it crack

If there is anything in the universe that can't stand discussion, let it crack