I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Quote by Woody Allen
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.