My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Failure Quotes, Luck Quotes, Success Quotes

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into...

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money, power and influence.

Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money, power and influence.

You know all that money we spend on the military ever year -- trillions of...

You know all that money we spend on the military ever year -- trillions of...

The more is given the less people will work for themselves, and the less they...

The more is given the less people will work for themselves, and the less they...