I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
Sex relieves tension - love causes it.
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...
Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...
I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.