I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

80% of success is showing up.

80% of success is showing up.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...