I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...
I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...