I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Ill see you forever For you are a part of me And I myself a...

Ill see you forever For you are a part of me And I myself a...

Whether it's a good day or a bad day, we must know how to live...

Whether it's a good day or a bad day, we must know how to live...

He whom the gods favor dies in youth

He whom the gods favor dies in youth