I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Cheating Quotes, Infidelity Quotes

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is an explanation for acting without thinking

Tradition is an explanation for acting without thinking

I don't know much about history, and I wouldn't give a nickel for all the...

I don't know much about history, and I wouldn't give a nickel for all the...