I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
Quote by Woody Allen
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it
Sex relieves tension - love causes it.
And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
Tradition is an explanation for acting without thinking
I don't know much about history, and I wouldn't give a nickel for all the...