I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
Quote by Woody Allen
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...
Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...
I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
Eternity is really long, especially near the end
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...
What is defeat? Nothing but education, nothing but the first step to something better
What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?
Success or failure in business is caused more by the mental attitude even than by...