The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
Quote by Woody Allen
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...
I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...
80% of success is showing up.
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it
Everyone loves himself, but loving others is the most daunting task. In fact, the key...
Love is the direct opposite of hate. By definition it's something you can't feel for...
He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...