My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

I am two with nature.

I am two with nature.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

When a man laughs at his troubles he loses a great many friends. They never...

When a man laughs at his troubles he loses a great many friends. They never...

And the lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make...

And the lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make...