I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Funny Quotes, Love Quotes

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

80% of success is showing up.

80% of success is showing up.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there...

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there...

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

I am two with nature.

I am two with nature.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.