I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Quote by Woody Allen
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...
I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
Marriage is the death of hope.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved
He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...
How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God...