If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
Quote by Henny Youngman
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...
She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to...
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...
She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one...
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends...
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let...
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier...
Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from the...