This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

Quote by Henny Youngman

Topics: Henny Youngman Quotes

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one...

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one...

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks...

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks...

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the...

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the...

Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

Take my wife... Please!

Take my wife... Please!

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to...

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to...

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.