I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Quote by Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman Quotes
She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
Take my wife... Please!
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but...
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks...
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.