My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
Quote by Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman Quotes
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks...
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends...
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but...
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...
My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out...
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one...
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to...
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
She has a wash and wear bridal gown.
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.
She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.