If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

Quote by Henny Youngman

Topics: Henny Youngman Quotes

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends...

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends...

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but...

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but...

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to...

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to...

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

And again, Subhuti, suppose a woman or a man were to renounce all their belongings...

And again, Subhuti, suppose a woman or a man were to renounce all their belongings...

You can have all the intelligence in the world and don't have enough stamina. I...

You can have all the intelligence in the world and don't have enough stamina. I...