I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

Quote by Henny Youngman

Topics: Henny Youngman Quotes

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does...

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does...

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...

A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His...

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His...

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one...

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one...

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out...

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out...