I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

Quote by Henny Youngman

Topics: Bachelors Quotes

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does...

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does...

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks...

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks...

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.