My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.

Quote by Henny Youngman

Topics: Military Family Quotes

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out...

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out...

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks...

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks...

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

Take my wife... Please!

Take my wife... Please!

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.