I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
Quote by Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman Quotes
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends...
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to...
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
She has a wash and wear bridal gown.
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the...
She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks...
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...