The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
Quote by Woody Allen
I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...
Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love
It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...
I'm so sorry I fell down.
Somebody come here and look at this...look at this...God damn cat drinking milk out the...