Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
I am two with nature.
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.