I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Quote by Woody Allen
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...
How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Sex relieves tension - love causes it.
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...
New York, the nation's thyroid gland.
Ignorance, inertia and indifference are alive and well in America's newspapers. Minority still equals inferiority...
This (Tokyo nerve gas attack) was done not by people with a political ideal but...