I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Achievement Quotes, Funny Quotes, Immortality Quotes

I am two with nature.

I am two with nature.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste death but once.

Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste death but once.

I do not believe that any man fears to be dead, but only the stroke...

I do not believe that any man fears to be dead, but only the stroke...