I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Quote by Woody Allen
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move...
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...
It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...
Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.