The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Love Quotes

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand...

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand...

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

So, do you live around here often?

So, do you live around here often?

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

Inflation hasn't ruined everything. A dime can still be used as a screwdriver.

Inflation hasn't ruined everything. A dime can still be used as a screwdriver.