The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Funny Quotes, Morning Quotes

I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...

I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the...

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the...

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches...

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches...

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.

My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...