The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Funny Quotes, Morning Quotes

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit...

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit...

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up...

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up...

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full...

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full...

I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!

I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they...

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they...

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French...

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French...

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting...

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting...

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand...

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand...

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

At one point he decided enough was enough.

At one point he decided enough was enough.