The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Love Quotes

My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.

My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they...

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they...

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do...

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do...

How young can you die of old age?

How young can you die of old age?

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

What a nice night for an evening.

What a nice night for an evening.

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses...

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses...

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar...

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar...

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches...

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches...

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...