Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Funny Quotes, Sex Quotes

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...

And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.