Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
Quote by Woody Allen
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...
I am two with nature.