I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there...
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Marriage is the death of hope.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.