I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...
Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.