To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: God Quotes

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move...

A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

I am two with nature.

I am two with nature.