To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: God Quotes

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move...

A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of...

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

I am two with nature.

I am two with nature.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...