My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Quote by Woody Allen
The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...
A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move...
Problems in relationships occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the...
You still mean everything to me. You're just not worth the fight anymore...