It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue...
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of...
In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
The body is at its best between the ages of thirty and thirty-five; the mind...
Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins...
Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much.