Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Funny Quotes

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.