I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Funny Quotes, Putdowns Quotes

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

Blood's not thicker than money.

Blood's not thicker than money.

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Dont believe your friends when they ask you to be honest with them. All they...

Dont believe your friends when they ask you to be honest with them. All they...

I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!

I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!

A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells...

A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells...