Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...