Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Poverty breeds lack of self-reliance

Poverty breeds lack of self-reliance

Poverty and War have no excuse.

Poverty and War have no excuse.