Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

Blood's not thicker than money.

Blood's not thicker than money.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.