There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, Yes, you know he is a crook.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

The real danger from advertising is that it helps to shatter and ultimately destroy our...

The real danger from advertising is that it helps to shatter and ultimately destroy our...

I am not covetous for gold; but if it be a sin to covet honor,...

I am not covetous for gold; but if it be a sin to covet honor,...