Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Quote by Groucho Marx
Best Friend Quotes
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...
No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...
I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
Do you mind if I don't smoke ?
I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a...
Men professing godliness offer their bodies upon Satan's altar, and burn the incense of tobacco...