Women should be obscene and not heard.
Quote by Groucho Marx
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...
No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend
I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.