Go, and never darken my towels again.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...