The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
Quote by Groucho Marx
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...
Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and...
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
Go, and never darken my towels again.
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung.
It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone?...