I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Quote by Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...
When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...
Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Humor is reason gone mad.
Does anyone here work in advertising or marketing? Well if you do, when you get...
The truth always comes back....either to shake your hand or to slap your face.