I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Poverty Quotes

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Blood's not thicker than money.

Blood's not thicker than money.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar...

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar...

Military glory - that attractive rainbow that rises in showers of blood

Military glory - that attractive rainbow that rises in showers of blood