The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.

Quote by Quentin Crisp

Topics: Children Quotes, Funny Quotes

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves...

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves...

In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once...

In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once...

You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and...

You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and...

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.

Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms...

Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms...

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.

Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.

It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the...

It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the...

Love is the extra effort we make in our dealings with those whom we do...

Love is the extra effort we make in our dealings with those whom we do...

Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer...

Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer...

For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.

For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.

Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.

Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves...

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves...

The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as Soho poverty. It comes...

The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as Soho poverty. It comes...

Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system...

Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system...

Vice is its own reward

Vice is its own reward

Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.

Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the...

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the...

M F K Fisher is the dowager queen of writers on browsing and slicing.

M F K Fisher is the dowager queen of writers on browsing and slicing.

I have learned to respect ideas, wherever they come from. Often they come from clients....

I have learned to respect ideas, wherever they come from. Often they come from clients....