The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.

Quote by Quentin Crisp

Topics: Children Quotes, Funny Quotes

For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.

For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.

The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.

The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.

Abatement in the hostility of one's enemies must never be thought to signify they have...

Abatement in the hostility of one's enemies must never be thought to signify they have...

For an introvert his environment is himself and can never be subject to startling or...

For an introvert his environment is himself and can never be subject to startling or...

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years...

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years...

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman...

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman...

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves...

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves...

I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum.

I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum.

I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps...

I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps...

It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue....

It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue....

Love is the extra effort we make in our dealings with those whom we do...

Love is the extra effort we make in our dealings with those whom we do...

It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the...

It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the...

Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically - for our mutual good....

Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically - for our mutual good....

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the...

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the...

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the...

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the...

The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as Soho poverty. It comes...

The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as Soho poverty. It comes...

One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer...

One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer...

Sex is the last refuge of the miserable

Sex is the last refuge of the miserable

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts...

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts...

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.