The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.

Quote by Quentin Crisp

Topics: Children Quotes, Funny Quotes

The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the...

The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the...

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman...

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman...

The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I...

The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I...

If I were asked to describe the difference between the sexes in the gay world,...

If I were asked to describe the difference between the sexes in the gay world,...

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves...

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves...

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the...

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the...

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as...

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as...

The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep...

The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep...

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the...

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the...

You should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality...

You should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality...

It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the...

It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the...

Sex is the last refuge of the miserable

Sex is the last refuge of the miserable

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.

The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.

The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.

I don't hold with abroad and think that foreigners speak English when our backs are...

I don't hold with abroad and think that foreigners speak English when our backs are...

Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms...

Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms...

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

The passions grafted on wounded pride are the most inveterate; they are green and vigorous...

The passions grafted on wounded pride are the most inveterate; they are green and vigorous...

Last time I saw him he tried to murder me. But when you're trying to...

Last time I saw him he tried to murder me. But when you're trying to...